Deena

No hiding today. Today we will walk around in freedom. Today we throw off the shackles we have so long worn. Today we shout loudly. We are bought back, sanctified and delivered children of the Most High God. We aren't afraid. We know that our Father, our Papa God, holds us close. Today the things of the past matter little. Because our Jesus has given us a glorious future with Him. Will there be troubles? YES. Will there be things that can cause us doubt? YES. But every time we come up against a mountain, we know what to say. We know that if we whisper "move," with faith and conviction, that mountain will fling itself into the sea. But more than anything? Today we are no longer slaves to fear. Today we are sons and daughters. And with words like that we have an inheritance. So, grasp tightly Kidlets.

And be free.

Carol:

               These letters written two years apart, show the power of Jesus to change the heart of a lonely, hurting child into a woman of God.

Deena-

            An orphan has no one. An orphan has nothing. And maybe that's all I will ever be. Nothing. Maybe all I am ever for or to be about is the nothing-ness that seems to overshadow who I am. Maybe. But maybe not. Maybe more for me will come to pass. Maybe somehow I might be something. Maybe. But who knows. Maybe I'm wrong. My brother always said I was stupid anyways . . . my brother.

            Ha. If that wasn't the pot calling the kettle black. My brother, the pimp. My brother, the drug dealer. My brother who has an 8th grade education. My brother . . . You see, when my parents died I moved in with him. I was 10. And they both died fairly quick and fairly close to each other. And then I was alone. Deena, with no parents. Deena, with no family.

            Maybe I'm good for something--who knows? You see, but then. . . It's always the “but thens,” isn't it? Well, dam*. But what was I talking about? Right, my worth. I'm an orphan. A bastar*, too.

            But, yesterday, this girl told me I was worth something. Crazy white bi*ch. She starts talking about how I'm precious. Like a diamond. What the fu** she talking about! I'm not precious. I'm problematic. See, but then. . . then she handed me a book. And I read it. That's right, I can read. I’m not some retarded ni**er. I'm intelligent.

            But then it said something. It said I was “fearfully and wonderfully made.” What the fu**? Don't God know I'm a bastar*? So who knows, maybe I'm good for something. So I read more. And the more I read, the more I learned. Apparently God don't care if I'm broken or an orphan. He loves me anyways. So he must be a crazy God or at least a crappy God. So, who knows? Do I want to serve a crazy God? Maybe. He seems to love me despite the fact I'm a ni**er. Despite the fact I'm a bastar* or an orphan. Maybe I should read on.

Deena (later)
            My Father is amazing! I look back at the past two years and I laugh. I was an orphan, but now I am redeemed. He calls me beautiful! He calls me perfect! He has raised me from the pit and declared me His.

            A year ago I asked the Lord into my heart and since then I have seen so much come to pass. I have a job, my relationship with my grandma has been restored! And my babies are now back with me after they were taken away. My Daddy is good. I Have a DAD! I HAVE A DAD!!
            The Bible says that God will restore the years the locusts have eaten. He hasn't just restored, He has TRANSFORMED! I encourage you, dear Sister. . .smile and trust that your Daddy has your heart! All you have to do is believe. He transformed me, a bastar*. He can do anything!