Rose

Dear Reader,

Now this section is a warning! It’s basically . . .  me writing a letter . . . a PSA about dating after a traumatic experience.

            First off, No worries, girl, I'm not going to say don't date. But as you know by now. Trauma CHANGES EVERYTHING. It affects us and how we are as women. And years later, you will be amazed by what ended up needing healed. But I digress, dating is always fun. The nervous twittering of the beginning, the huge surge that happens when you figure out that this person really does actually LIKE you. And the fireworks that take place when the next step comes into play. They ask that question and it feels like the world has stopped for just a second. (Or so I have been told, I don't quite know what happens with that question just yet)

            Falling in love, just like trauma, changes us. But you have two things to think on: at times it’s necessary to take a step back and get to know the new person that you are. Let yourself breathe and learn as much as you can about as much as possible. But be open and aware, sometimes God can bring you amazing things in unexpected packages. Personally, I'm in love and I am changing because of it. God has restored me in unexplainable ways and I can't wait to see what is ahead of me. Because I know that no matter what my heavenly Father does with this relationship, I have been changed.

            J---- was brought into my life in a weird and beautiful way, but that's how God has worked in my life in the past year. It’s been pretty great. I totally have a crush on him :) Am I scared about the future? Not anymore, I am expectant because my King is in charge of my relationship, I'm not. And right now I am in a season of growing and a season of learning. And that is something that I am cherishing.

            I am in the middle of a love story with my Savior.  And that story has to be more important than anything else.

            Here's another thing sweet sister, you are still enough in your singlehood. You are enough. Your womanhood isn't compromised because you aren't a Mrs. The “healing” of rape isn't marriage, the healing of rape comes when that pain is given to God. 

            Sometimes, we can get caught up in things that look a bunch like love. We can get lost in feelings or thoughts, that, like most of our emotions, tend to mislead us. So it’s important if God brings someone your way to stop and pray before getting involved. Because sometimes we can lie to ourselves and convince ourselves that “he's the one” when really he is just a mess or a meanie. And God still uses those men too.

            And it can be frustrating, because often times those men are the ones who look like they should. They can come across kind, gentle and from a good background and in the moment it can be hard to remember that there is more than meets the eye. Which I know is hard when they are all broody and attractive. Stand your ground ladies :)

            Because those kind and nice and genuine men exist. Whether they be boyfriends, brothers in Christ or whatever really. They are out there.

            I have been crazy blessed with a slew of good Godly men in my life, men who are my brothers in the Lord. They teach me, and model what I want in a husband, what kind of Father I want to give my children and how a good marriage works. And these are men who I have seen fight with their wives, but what makes a good marriage isn't how “good” something looks, but whether a couple uses Christ to deal with problems. Because we all have problems.

            Men have surprised me, especially Godly men. They are still wild and manly of course, but they can be gentle and kind as well. They are willing to lay aside their natural tendencies in order to portray Christ to people that they see. And that is a very manly trait, ladies.

            So that’s what I have to say about love. Do I sometimes practice his last name? Yes, I am not even going to attempt to pretend that I don't. But do I also know that as a Christian I am obligated to proclaim the good news to all the earth? Also yes.

            My emotions don't negate how I am supposed to live. Or at least that’s the plan anyway :) I'm not sure what my ministry looks like, I don't know what God wants me to do. But I do know that if the Lord wills that I marry, that man will have my heart. And whatever we do, we will do together. Because from what I understand a help-mate brings out the best in the other person. You work together as a team to proclaim the good news.

            But the thing is reader -- I do like him. 

Rose:

               Oh honey I have so much to tell you and way too much too say. Who you are now? Well it’s temporary. The pain you hold in your hands is going to fall through the cracks. The big things are little things. But they demand to be felt. WE MUST BE CHANGED, by the things that we go through. There is no way around that. We have to grow. Or we simply remain stagnant. Honey, you are enough. The constant strain and pressure is crazy.  You are more than enough to be happy, the God who made you and formed you in your Momma’s womb calls you beautiful. And can you question that?

               So, Sweet Baby Girl, brush your hair back. Smile and know that pain demands to be felt. But that after that is a glorious sunrise of truth. God loves you. No matter how icky or gross. No matter how dirty you feel, he still loves you.

               Please don't chose safety over courage, Dear One. Please don't. Instead of being safe, Love, be BRAVE. Be the one in the room with the most passion and zest. Be loud. The Proverbs 31 woman was BOLD. She knew that she was invincible because she is a daughter of the KING. And because God is within her she will NOT fail.

               Young One, you will be the woman who finally removes chains we have worn around our feet since Eve. We were not created for insecurity, we were created to be more than conquerors. We have the power of an almighty God flowing through our very veins. As adopted children of the Lord we have been grafted into a family.

               We are bought back from the pit of hell, we are set free from a life of bondage, and we are wound up and ready to go forth onto all the nations! We are the DAUGHTERS of the most HIGH. And we are coming.

               We are coming to take back womanhood, and to change the fabric of femininity. We are coming to declare that shame is not a “rite of passage”. We are coming. We are coming to take back what the enemy stole. Because we have not been given a spirit of FEAR. But a spirit of adoption. Because Poppa God? Well honey, if you have him he calls you a daughter!

               He calls you Set Free.